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Between Parents

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.
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May 21, 2019

Have you or your spouse ever felt judged by your in-laws? If so, you know the experience is not just challenging, it’s emotional. How do you navigate these treacherous waters and still maintain a relationship? That’s today’s conversation.

Talk About This:

As you process with your spouse consider the five ideas

1 - How can you create space for your emotions?

2 - In what way do you need to cultivate understanding?

3 - Where do you have expectations as it relates to your inlaws?

4 - Consider what's the best way to plan for the long term?

5 - Do you embrace the "we" factor or does your spouse feel at all accused?

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

May 14, 2019

What do you want to be when you grow up? This seems like a harmless question, right? But what if it undermines what we really want for our kids? That’s the thesis of a recent article by Adam Grant and the topic of today’s podcast.

Talk About This:

When we talk about the future with our kids, how much do we emphasize the "what" you'll be versus what you'll be "LIKE?"

What are the potential liabilities in the way we talk future employment with our kids? What should we continue to emphasize in the same way?

What unique personalities, types, or wirings separate our kids (or separate our kids from us) that should be noticed as we have future-oriented conversations? 

Related-ish Links:

The Full NYT article by Adam Grant HERE 

Dolphin like submarine video HERE

Adam Grant TED talk HERE and his book Originals HERE 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

May 7, 2019

Today’s episode clears out some of the random questions we have received about family life. There’s a little something for everyone here PLUS maybe we answered a question that’s been on your mind too!

Talk About This:

In what areas do we struggle with being servant-hearted?

What are key words/phrases we can use to elevate our service factor?

What prevents our ability to release our expectations in our relationships?

Who do we need to spend time with those behind us (newer to) in their season of marriage?

Discuss the idea of opening up your home to others. Are you ready for that? What would be your hesitations? What makes you excited about doing so?

Related Links:

Episode #89 Why Married People Need Single Friends (& Vise Versa)

 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Apr 30, 2019

Are you ever tempted to control your kids? Perhaps you’re merely tempted to drift into the world of “over-managing” them. Whatever the case, in this episode we give you a word picture WE LOVE that can help you stop the control madness!

Talk About This:

We encourage you to talk to your spouse and extended friends and family about the idea of being a Gardener or an Architect. Work to bring that language into your conversations.

Then identify how your mindset reflects Gardner ideas or Architect ideas. How is this mindset helping or hurting?

NEXT consider what behaviors need to change BECAUSE of this mindset.

Finally, discuss where you feel most pressure to grow at home- curiosity/patience? Improving environments? Or purging worry? 

Related Links:

Episode #65 – Balancing Freedom & Responsibility

Episode #114 – How to Worry Less About Your Kids

Neil Gaiman on the Tim Ferris Podcast

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Apr 16, 2019

Some say "life is a series of negotiations," so why shouldn’t marriage be the same way?  

In this episode we’ll discuss how negotiations is not only tedious, but also dangerous to your relationship with your spouse. Then, we’ll also suggest an alternate approach.

Talk About This:

Discuss your tendencies to turn challenges into negotiations. Does this happen often? Sometimes? Rarely?

When are you most likely to negotiate instead of white boarding your challenges as a couple?

What are reminders/key words you can use with your spouse to make sure the next decision is handled with a "team" approach?

What potential decisions are in your future where you might be tempted to negotiate?

Related Links:

Episode #29 - The Mosquitos of Marriage

Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Apr 9, 2019

Who are you?

I don’t understand him!

I don’t get her!

These are common frustrations in any relationship, but what can you do to move pass misunderstanding? How can you demystify your spouse? That’s today’s conversation!

Talk About This:

Take one of the areas of your marriage and talk to your spouse about how your behavior reflects Nature, Nurture, and/or Choice. Possible non-emotional areas to process are:

  • Where and how do you like to vacation
  • How do you like to spend your evenings
  • How do you respond to music

Related Links:

Episode # 107 – Understanding Personality Types in Marriage

Episode # 126 – The Five Seasons of Marriage Differences

Episode # 52 – How Family of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Episode # 97 – Forgiveness in Marriage 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

https://www.betweenparentspodcast.com

Mar 26, 2019

Unfortunately this simple question doesn’t have a simple answer. 

In this episode Billy and Joy discussed the critical milestones your kids should reach before getting a phone and the markers you’ll need to notice and, as necessary, discuss with your kids during the Pre-Phone Season. 

Now it’s time for you to have your own discussion. These questions should get you started!

TALK ABOUT THIS:

  • How digitally mature are your kids?
  • What conversations do you need to initiate with your kids?
  • What have been your biggest takeaways through this podcast series? 
  • What changes or additions do you want to make? 
  • What other adults are you having this conversation with on a regular basis?

 

LINKS:

RESOURCES FROM TRANSIT STUDENTS (North Point Community Church):

TECHNOLOGY SOLUTIONS:

Mar 26, 2019

In the last episode we introduced the idea of evaluating digital maturity through a three-part filter - WHEN/HOW MUCH/WHY.

Keep those categories in mind as you listen to episode four. Then get ready to talk strategy! The discussion questions below should prompt you to share how to practically apply those filters in our families. However, you should use this time to get at the best ideas and to consider where you might need to make some changes!

 

TALK ABOUT THIS:

  • What digital guidelines do we have for our family? How do you know they are working?
  • Ask everyone to give a grade on their techniques considering the pros and cons. 
  • What digital guidelines do we want for our family? 
  • What are the best ways for us to have healthy discussion as a family around digital issues? 
  • What are the opportunities for us to use technology for good together? 
  • Are our kids mature enough to handle the digital opportunities we are giving them?

LINK:

BOOK: The Tech Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place.

by Andy Crouch

Mar 26, 2019

The primary role of a parent is to raise our kids into mature adults. This includes people who know how to do their own laundry, work, pay a few bills, recycle and maybe even get their own place to live! 

However, in the age of constant electronic connection, parents have a new item in their job description: raising digitally mature adults.  

Where do you begin? How do you know that maturity actually exists? Listen to this episode as a prompt for the discussion questions below.

TALK ABOUT THIS:

  • How do you define “digital maturity?” Does it differ from what you heard in the episode?
  • From your perspective, which seems to be the biggest challenge for your kids:
  • WHEN they use it
  • HOW MUCH they use it, or 
  • WHY they use it?
  • Ask your kids to identify their challenges, too. Do they match?
  • What are YOUR challenges with tech? (Remember, you don't get off the hook!) 
  • What should each of you do in response to these challenges?
  • How do you rate your ability to discuss your family tech struggles? Discuss how you can incorporate the language of WHEN/HOW MUCH/WHY into regular conversations. 

LINK: 

BOOK: Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls by Lisa Damour

Mar 26, 2019

When parents discuss technology, they frequently have negative opinions. 

Finding the threats to safety, attitudes, and relationships is an easy exercise, but what about the good? Are we worried about something innocuous? Or is technology going to ruin our families?

After you listen to this episode, have a candid discussion to assess if you’re overly concerned OR if you need to pay closer attention to what’s happening with these devices.

TALK ABOUT THIS:

  • Which POSITIVE benefits of technology have you seen in your home?
  • Consider the positive impact of time management, improved efficiency, and better connections.
  • Which NEGATIVE repercussions have you felt in your home?  
  • Consider the negative impact of time management, improved efficiency, and better connections.
  • If you have teenagers, ask THEM these questions, too! What did you learn? 
  • What factor does FEAR play in your approach to giving your kids digital opportunities? 
  • What adjustments should we make to our thinking?

LINK:

BOOK: The Tech Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place.

by Andy Crouch

Mar 26, 2019

Remember life before smartphones?  Do you ever wish we could go back to those days?  

Chances are your kids won’t ever distinguish between being on or off line because life will simply be online all the time. So since our digital devices are here to stay, how do we manage the impact on our lives? How do we navigate the tension when our kids seem obsessed with screens and parents might be a wee bit addicted too?

Listen to episode one then have a candid conversation about managing the tension tech brings. 

TALK ABOUT THIS:

  • How addicted are you to your devices? Do you struggle with feeling like a hypocrite?
  • Where do you fall on the technology pendulum? Are you more likely to see devices as a non-issue or are you hyper-concerned? Does it vary? why?
  • What are you emotions when it comes to parenting around technology?
  • In what ways do you relate to the idea of being a “digital immigrant?” Are you reluctant to jump into the new culture? How are you resistant to embracing the new motherland?
  • How do you see your kids being “digital natives?” Are any of their natural adaptations intimidating to you?
  • How can you connect with your kids THIS WEEK to understand more of their world? What specific app/game/YouTube star are you willing to have them teach you on? 

LINK:

BOOK: Right Click: Parenting Your Teenager In A Digital Media World 

by Dr. Kara Powell, Art Bamford, Brad M Griffin

Mar 19, 2019

Have you ever wondered how you’re doing as a parent? What do your kids think about the way you handle the family? If you want some insightful comments, ask them! In this episode we’ll discuss how to solicit feedback from the people who experience your highs and lows first hand.

Talk About This:

Although this week was all about questions, we still think there are a few things you should process with your spouse.  

Discuss the answers you got from your kids and what you learned. Did any of the answers surprise you?

Are there things you need to change in light of your kid's answers?

What would you do differently the next time you plan an "awkward" session?

Related Links:

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Mar 12, 2019

Have you ever noticed how your spouse is different from you? Have you ever been irritated by the difference? Maybe you’ve been able to move past the difference and ended up in a really happy place. What accounts for the spread between irritation and celebration? That’s the discussion on this episode!

Talk About This:

Evaluate what season are you in?

Is your spouse in the same season?

What are the differences that need to be celebrated?

What obstacles are preventing you from moving to season 4 or 5 (Appreciation/Celebration)

Related Links:

Episode #60 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys

Episode #107 – Understanding Personality Types

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Mar 5, 2019

If you have kids middle school age or younger today’s episode gives you some bite-sized thoughts to digest. Consider it a little encouragement for walking through the season of raging hormones, emotional tsunamis, and one-word answers.

Talk About This:

Which resonate with you most?

Which are you already doing?  

Which will be hardest for you to implement?

Which do you want to try?

Related Links:

Episode 8 - Is this Really Just a Stage?

Episode 73 - Enjoying the Middle School Years

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 26, 2019

Are you stressed out when parents “brag” about their kids? Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up in the land of parents? You’re not alone and you’re not crazy. But what do you do to relieve the pressure when you feel like raising kids is a competition? Let’s chat about it!

Talk About This:

How often do I feel competitive with other parents? What are the triggers?
Is there anything I do that could make other parents feel like I am being competitive with them?
What specific person/family do I need to celebrate more?

Related Links:

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 19, 2019

If you’re newly pregnant or know someone who is today’s discussion is practical and encouraging! We kick around the question about whether you can “over share” and what it means to curate rather than collect advice. Take a listen (and congratulations!)

Talk About This:

Which of these 10 tips feels most challenging? Why?

How should we prioritize this advice?

Related Links:

#90 - What New Parents Wish Grandparents Knew

#25 - Ten Guiding Principles for Parents with Newborns

#54 - Toddler 101: Parenting Through the Early Years

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!  

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 12, 2019

Do you love or hate Valentine’s Day? We are surprised how many people fall into the loathing camp! Perhaps it’s time to reframe this holiday and make it fun again. Today’s podcast gives you five ways to make that happen!

Talk About This:

Ask your spouse what they think their love language is...gifts/physical touch/words of affirmation/acts of service/quality time

Ask your spouse if they feel like Valentine's Day fills them up or drains them.

Talk about how you would MOST like to acknowledge the day (OR NOT) - remember - if it's a stressful thing, then you're not doing it right. We should ENJOY CELEBRATIONS ; ) - and that can mean simply letting them pass OR buying a box of chocolates.

Related Links:

The Five Love Languages By Gary Chapman HERE

Waffle House Valentine’s Day HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 5, 2019

Disagreements are part of every marriage, but do we have to fight? Or is it better to stuff our feelings in the name of keeping the peace? What if there’s a third option? That’s the discussion on this episode.

Talk About This:

Ask your spouse where THEY think you fall on the spectrum.

DO NOT DISAGREE - JUST LISTEN

In light of where you land, go through the three practice areas and decide what changes you need to make.

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 29, 2019

Are you exhausted or discouraged? Perhaps a little bit of both? Today’s podcast is for you with five big picture, you-can-do-this, “at the end of the day” bits of encouragement. You’ve got this!

Talk About This:

What thought did I MOST need to hear?

HOW can I commit it to memory?

What other parent needs this encouragement? (pass it along!)

Related Links:

Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl - HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 22, 2019

Have you ever been at a store or at a government agency and been completely frustrated with how poorly the place was run? If so, then you’ve come across this principle: A lack of organization leads to relational tension. This is true not only with service organizations - it’s true in our marriages. In this episode we’ll  discuss how you can make your marriage better simply by improving some of your systems.

Talk About This:

What tensions do we regularly face that might be related to bad (or no) systems?

What can we do, organizationally, to improve?

What solutions do we need to research or use? (What do we need to learn to make this better?)

Related Links:

Episode # 40 - The One Piece of Data That Blew Our Minds  

Date Night blog posts here, here, and here.

PLUS an @home date night idea HERE 

Book review – The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

A Blog post about Creating Homes in the kitchen HERE

 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 15, 2019

Doesn’t every parent want his or her kid to become independent? While this seems like an obvious “yes,” many parents interrupt their children’s growth process by making life too easy for them. When we fall into the trap of removing hardships and shortening challenges we rob our kids of lessons they will need for life outside the home.

It’s a big topic and we hope today’s discussion challenges your thinking!

Talk About This:

What is my natural bent... to be too permissive or too restrictive on my kid’s push towards independence? What should I do in light of this?

What are some of the reasons I am reluctant to let m kids "do it themselves?"

What are some of the greatest steps to independence I could grant my kids in THIS season of their lives? What are some of their "stretch" activities?

Related Links:

The Coddling of the American Mind HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 8, 2019

How will your kids describe your family when they are grown? How will they characterize the high points and low points? For parents it helps to start journey with the end in mind.  In this episode, we’ll review a few categories to consider and discuss as you start a new year!

Talk About This:

Imagine your kids as adults completing the following sentences. What would you like them to say?

  1. My mom and/or Dad were consistently ________.
  2. I admired the way my family __________.
  3. I appreciate how my parents intentionally taught me to _______. (Consider both hard and soft skills)
  4. I wish my family had done more _________ (or done less)
  5. When we disagreed with each other we usually _______.
  6. I know I was loved because __________.

Review with your spouse or community what you need to start doing and what do you need to stop doing to make sure you’re on the path to your desired outcome?

Related Links:

The Five Love Languages for Kids – HERE

7 Habits of Highly Effective People -HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Dec 18, 2018

How is your pace around the holidays? Do you feel like you are absorbing the joys? Or does it all feel like it’s a blur? In this episode we cover four reminders that will help your family make the season more meaningful.

Talk About This:

Are we comfortable with our pace?

What are our favorite traditions? Are there some we need to ditch?

Related Link:

Episode #78 – The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Dec 11, 2018

#115 – Making Family Meals Worthwhile

As great as sitting around the dinner table sounds, sometimes it’s challenging to pull off. We get it! We’ve been there. On today’s podcast we’ll discuss why and how we can prioritize mealtime together and the difference it makes in connecting as a family.

Next Steps:

Pull out the ol’ calendar and schedule your family meals together for the rest of your month

Related-ish Link:

We have RESEARCH!

National Health Institute Review HERE

Family Meals & Social Engagement Study HERE

Family Meals & Overall Health insight HERE

The Family Dinner Project Website HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Dec 4, 2018

Do you know anyone who doesn’t worry about their children?? Neither do we!
But all of this fretting may not be good for our kids or for us. On today’s episode we talk about the risks of worry and steps we need to take to reduce our anxiety.

Next Steps:

Evaluate - how much time and energy do you spend worrying? Is it reflexive for you? Do you wear it as a badge of honor?

Because this may be hard to see in the mirror - and to verify your self-assessment and ask your spouse/friends to give you feedback on whether you are a worrier.

Finally - most of us could stand to worry less - to shift our mental energy to something more productive - think about AND ACT on how to express more confidence to your kid!

Related-ish Link:

Articles on the impact of worry on health HERE and HERE 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

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