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Between Parents

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.
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Oct 23, 2018

Life is messy – especially when it comes parenting. (Or perhaps your kids actually pick up there stuff!) If we aren’t careful, chaos can take over more than our household, it can impact our relationships. Like Episode #106, in today’s podcast Billy and Joy discuss what sloppy habits we need to purge in order to keep our family healthy!

Talk about this:

Where is there garbage in our parenting?

What steps do we need to take to get rid of it?

Related Links:

NY Times article on sleep HERE

Episode #106 – 12 Garbage Habits in Marriage

Joy’s blog posts on quick meals HERE and HERE

Episode # 78 – The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Episode # 33 – Enjoying Your Family

Episode # 10 – Keeping the Family Fun

Episode #31 - Erasing Fear From Parenting

Episode #99 – Asking Better Questions

Episode #30 – Five Important Questions to Ask Your Kids

Episode #3 – Fighting with Kids

Episode #85 – Respond vs React

Episode #57 – Hurrying Home

Episode #83 – Leave Kids Space to Grow

Episode #58 - A Parent’s Most Fundamental Role

Episode #98 – Five Truths For Discouraged Parents

Episode # 2 – A Warning About Parent Measurements

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 16, 2018

We love personality tests not just because they help us grow individually, but because they can build empathy and understanding in our relationships. This is especially true in marriage. On this episode we’ll give you one example (ours!) of how a variety of tests provide a common language and improve our connection.

Talk about this:

How are you, as a couple, learning to leverage the knowledge of type and the common language found therein?

What are the tensions you are currently facing that might be more rooted in your personalities and types over what you currently think... that your spouse is simply doing this to bug you?

What's your next step to get to work?

Related Links:

Episode # 60 - What to do when spouses annoy

MBTI 

The Five Love Languages

Enneagram

Strength Finders 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 9, 2018

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to trash a place? Without constant maintenance it feels like garbage would take over our lives. The same is true in our marriage – little habits and behaviors creep into our relationship that can eventually trash the connection with our spouse. In this episode Billy and Joy review the “Dirty Dozen” of marriage garbage and offer some ways to see if any of them are cluttering your relationship.

Talk about this:

Where is there garbage in our marriage?

What steps do I need to take to get rid of it?

How can I take ownership of the garbage I leave around?

Related Links:

Episode #104 - Coming to grips with your spouse’s imperfection

Episode #95 – Marriage is a team sport

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode #97 – Forgiveness in Marriage

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 2, 2018

Wouldn’t you love to get logical, reasoned feedback from your kids? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if they expressed appreciation for your hard work, if they explained when they were hurt or frustrated or if they admitted that you were usually right? On today’s podcast we discuss things your kids won’t tell you, but are true nonetheless.

Talk about this:

What do you think your kids don't tell you?

What encouragement makes the biggest difference to you?

Are there any areas where you feel like you need to make changes?

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Sep 25, 2018

Have you ever noticed your spouse is flawed? Of course this is a rhetorical question, but as couples say their vows, it’s easy to minimize those flaws. Don’t we all hope for a seamless compatibility to rule the day? But what do you do when as life progresses and the frustrations mount? How do you cope with the imperfections you always seem to notice in your spouse?

Talk about this:

This week we would love for you to sit with these steps - to think about the quality of your marriage and to examine where you might have tensions because you expect your spouse to be someone that they will never be. Then consider what steps you need to take to start the process of grieving and healing - and ultimately celebrating your spouse.

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Sep 18, 2018

Ready or not, your young children will soon become teenagers. For most of us, this means our parenting journey will feel like peddling a bike up a long, steep hill. If you want to be ready, you’ll build momentum for the teenage challenge during the elementary school years. In this podcast, we’ll discuss what that means with practical ideas and starting points!

Talk about this:

Spend time imaging what your kids will be like as teenagers.
Compare notes with your spouse or community.
Discuss where do we need to create more habits and routines with our kids? (Keep an eye toward building momentum!)

Related Links:

Episode #56 – Dreading The Thought Of Your Kids Growing Up

Episode #64 – Talking To Your Kids About Temptation

Episode #33 – Enjoying Your Family

Abundance Mindset – this is a term developed by Stephen Covey and explained in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. A summary is on Wikipedia article here.

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Sep 11, 2018

What makes a couple ready for marriage? Is it the amount of time spent dating? Or is it based on shared experiences? Is a couple ready because they are generally “compatible” or because they have been great dance partners at weddings? Why is it important to be “ready” to be married anyway? All of that on this episode of Between Parents!

Talk about this:

As you think about your relationship and your “readiness” consider what areas need to be turned up and what areas need to be turned down.

TURN UP:

Love. Respect. Communication. Friendship.

TURN DOWN/REMOVE:

Expectations. Dark Corners. Unhealthy habits. Dependence on parents. Self-centric attitudes.

Related Links:

Episode # 55 – Can You Affair Proof Your Marriage?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Sep 4, 2018

So you think you’re marriage material? How do you know? Is there anything you can do in advance to make sure you’re ready to say, “I do” successfully? We think so! In today’s episode we discuss six key practices for getting ready for marriage even in the dating season.

Six Key Practices:

Practice Self-Awareness

Practice Healthy Conflict

Practice Other Awareness

Practice Serving

Practice Boundaries

Practice Intentional Community

Talk about this:

Where do I need the most practice?

What can I do to remember to practice?

And a BONUS QUESTION if someone passed this podcast along to you, in which of these categories did you feel under-prepared when you got married?

Related Links:

Ep #52 - How Family Of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Ep #72 - Eight Things To Do Before You Get Married

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Aug 28, 2018

Welcome to the triple digits everyone! Thanks for coming along on this journey with us. Today we’re doing a “highlight reel” featuring the themes of this podcast. If you’re new to this podcast (or passing it along), below are a few links to episodes that touch on these themes.

Enjoy!

Joy’s Themes

  1. Greatest compliment you can give someone is to enjoy their company! 

  Episode sampling: 

Best Way to Destress Your Family 

Enjoying the Middle School Years

101 Fun Things to Do as a Family

Enjoying Your Family 

  1. Be a team

  Episode sampling: 

Creating Your Family Identity

Marriage as a Team Sport 

  1. Put issues in front NOT between 

Episode sampling:

Five Questions About Marriage

Forgiveness in Marriage

  1. Strategies are your friend

Episode sampling: 

Can You Affair-Proof Your Marriage

Parenting With A Positive Vision

  1. Margins Matter (so build them into your life!)

Episode sampling:

When Is It Time To Quit?

Awkward Date Night

Billy’s Themes

  1. Know thyself.

 Episode sampling:

Discovering Your Default Operating Systems

Practicing Vulnerability In Marriage

  1. Don't do this alone.

 Episode sampling:

Don't Do Life Alone

10 Newborn Principles

  1. Be the one that models the way to be in conflict.

 Episode sampling:

Respect in marriage

Fighting With Your Kids 

  1. Keep the long view.

 Episode sampling:

Keystone Habits For Healthy Families

Erasing Fear From Parenting

  1. Make the most of the time you have.

Episode sampling: 

One Piece of Data That Blew Our Minds

A Parent's Most Fundamental Role

 

Please remember to share with others!  Thanks for being here and listening along!   

 

*but not in a parental advisory, creepy kind of way!

Aug 21, 2018

Have your kids ever clammed up when you ask them questions? Do you feel like it’s been ages since you’ve heard more than a one-word answer? Perhaps there’s a better way to chat with our kids.

In this episode we discuss five principles for starting great conversations.

1st PRINCIPLE: Question for interest - If it’s important to your kids, it should be important to you.

2nd PRINCIPLE: Question for stories – bring out the storyteller in your child

3rd PRINCIPLE: Question for the long view – anchoring your kid to family identity

4th PRINCIPLE: Question for insight - checking your child’s gauges

5th PRINCIPLE: Question for opinion – learning what your kid really thinks

 

Talk about this:

What are the most common questions you ask your kids? Do they reflect your values?

Which of the five principles do you need to incorporate into your repertoire?

How can you remember to ask better questions?

Related links:

Mike Birbiglia asks Obama for baby advice here

Episode #37 - Creating A Family Identity

Episode # 41 - 21 Conversation Starters For Families

Joy’s blog on asking effective questions here

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Aug 14, 2018

Have you ever been put into a tailspin by a challenging day? What parent isn’t sometimes discouraged by the rigors of raising kids? Today’s episode has five nuggets of encouragement you need to keep in mind. Remember – you are doing a great work!!

Talk about this: If you're feeling discouraged, we want to encourage you to share what's going on with your spouse and others in your circle of influence.

Also share which truth was most encouraging to you.

Related links:

Episode #97 Asking for Forgiveness

Text for Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Aug 7, 2018

Has your spouse ever hurt you? Or have you ever done anything to hurt your spouse? No matter how great your marriage, there will be times where forgiveness is required. But even when you recognize this as true, the actual FORGIVING isn’t easy.

In this episode we discuss not only why you should forgive your spouse but some practical ways to build a habit of forgiveness.

Talk about this: This week we don't have questions for you so much as we want you to PRACTICE the last point of the podcast* which is to go to your spouse with anything YOU have done and ask for forgiveness - receive it well - then PRACTICE letting go!

(*Note – this might not make sense if you’re reading these notes before listening to the podcast, so go listen!)

 

Related links:

Benefits of forgiveness articles HERE and HERE (use google for a whole bunch more!)

Episode #60 – What To Do When Spouses Annoy

Episode #11 -The Awkward Date Night

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 31, 2018

School days are right around the corner, which often feels like a blessing, but can also feel like a curse. So how do you make the most of the school year? Today’s episode is a great place to start with eight reminders for every family with school-aged children!

Talk about this:

Which item on this list feels like a challenge for us?

What’s our plan for encouraging our child’s teacher?

Related Links: Episode #66 – Picking Schools For Your Kids

An additional article on enjoying school here

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 24, 2018

There are plenty of word pictures that work for describing a great relationship, but one of the most memorable ones we’ve ever heard is seeing marriage as a team sport. In this episode, Billy and Joy break down five ways treating your spouse like a teammate can be a game changer.

Talk about this:
How well do we function as a team?

What areas need our attention?

What do you feel are your unique talents and where would you like to see my support?

When do you feel like I celebrate you well? And where can I do better?

Related Links:
The Awkward Date Night - Episode #11

The Awkward Date Night Blog Post

Also remember:
We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 17, 2018

Do you ever wonder how your parenting ranks? Do you evaluate your mother/father “job performance” relative to others? Do you ever question how others are so pulled together while you struggle? These questions are easy to consider, but pull us off track of what matters. In this week’s podcast Billy and Joy review a couple of mental exercises and a few habit that will help kick the parent intimidation trap.

Talk about this:

Where do we have a limited mindset?

How easy is it for me to be vulnerable with others? Who are my “people?”

Who can I celebrate TODAY? Stop everything and shoot a text RIGHT NOW!

Where do I need to replace lies with truth?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 10, 2018

Today’s podcast is an exercise in vulnerability. We often say we are flawed and broken parents, but today we get specific! We hope you’ll relate as we discuss themes that creep up repeatedly in our family and inspire you to dig up your themes as well!

Talk about this:

Get out a pad of paper and write down your parenting flaws and/or themes.

How do those flaws impact your parenting?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 3, 2018

We had so much fun in Episode #91 going through your parenting questions, we decided to address some of the personal and/or bite sized inquires on marriage this week. We love hearing from you and hope our input on these questions is helpful!

  1. What has been the toughest season for you as a couple?
  2. What is a piece of advice for couples married 5 to 10 years?
  3. What is the “secret sauce” for a good marriage? (Don’t give me a marriage book answer.)
  4. You talk about community alot - but what do you do when you aren’t part of a church? Or when your spouse doesn’t want to “connect with others?
  5. What do you think most newlyweds erroneously assume?

Related Links:

Episode # 44 - Getting Unstuck From Marriage Ruts

Episode #51 – 21 Bits of Advice for Newlyweds

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode # 7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 26, 2018

As much as we try to address the assorted questions lobbed our way, sometimes we lag with the personal and/or bite-sized inquires. In today’s episode we are solving that problem with a handful of random, but hopefully helpful, questions you guys ask. Take a listen and, by all means, keep asking!

  1. What do you say to a discouraged parent?
  2. What is something new you’ve learned?
  3. Where do you learn?
  4. Which is harder… the toddler years or the teenage years?
  5. How are you most “weird” as a family?

Related Links:

Episode # 8 – Is this really just a stage? 

Episode # 2 - A Warning About Parent Measurement

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 19, 2018

You’re going to be a grandparent. Congratulations! This should be easy, like Parenting 2.0, right?

Not so fast. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the tension filled moments between expectant parents and grandparents. They have compiled a list of best practices and ways to avoid the most common relationship pitfalls.

Talk about this:

Grandparents – process the topics discussed on the podcast that you haven’t reviewed already. Remember to get clarity about delivery and home visits and ask about their strategies.

Parents – make sure your have clarity on your hopes for the delivery and homecoming process and be ready to answer the question “how can I help?”

Related Links:

Defining your family story – podcast HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 12, 2018

Have you ever noticed how often friendships drift apart after people get married? Why is this a consistent pattern? Why don’t friends stick around after the “I do” is said?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefit of having a diverse circle of friends whether you’re married or single. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well are we cultivating friendships with people who have a different marital status?

What "benefits" seem most applicable to our lives?

What "bad behavior" are we most likely to indulge?

Related Links:

Nearly & Newly Podcast Package HERE

Say Goodbye to Hollywood HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 5, 2018

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow."  - Brene Brown

Wouldn’t it be great to be fully known and fully accepted? Isn’t that what love is all about? Isn’t it the ideal for marriage? Well, this kind of love doesn’t happen without a serious dose of vulnerability!

So how do we build this habit into our relationships? That’s the topic of today’s podcast. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well do you think we do on the vulnerability continuum?

When do you feel most safe to describe your feelings?

What makes you feel like I have listened well to you?

Related Links:

Episode #84 - Getting to the bottom of disagreements

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 29, 2018

Have you noticed how many kids suffer from anxiety these days? Therapists are alarmed by the trend, experts can’t agree on the causes, and parents live with the threat daily. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the probable causes of anxiety and leave you with some practical questions to consider as you raise your kids.

Talk about this:

What do we model in terms of our anxiety levels?
Do we fret? Are we "worriers?" Do we operate from a place of fear?
Are there fear and anxiety issues you need to deal with yourself?

What is our plan for ensuring our kids have a robust community?
Do we help them process the tension in the comparison game?
Do we encourage competition and achievement or elevate the higher value of relationships?

We have to ask ourselves, what's the price of striving in our families?
What would happen if we made it our AMBITION to lead quiet (er) lives?

Related Links

A sobering look from the NYTimes Magazine...HERE 

Lisa Damour’s book describes how anxiety impacts girls in her practice in her terrific book Untangled. Find it HERE 

All kinds of great material from David Thomas and the team at Dayspring - HERE 

Time Magazine profile of the anxiety issue teens face- HERE 

Some blame anxiety on the lack of play... read about it HERE

Our previous podcast on keeping family fun HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 22, 2018

Even though we know it’s important to have dinner together, after hustling the family to the table, it’s exhausting to guide a meaningful conversation. Where do you start? Who has the energy to form a strategy?

In this episode Billy and Joy jump-start the process with a structure and 60 questions (pdf attached) so you can make your time around the table meaningful.

Take a listen!

Related Links

8 Strategies For Getting Your Family Around The Table

Family Stories That Bind Us - NYT

The Secrets of Happy Families

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 15, 2018

Do you ever lose your cool? Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it? If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger.

In this episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us.

Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions!

Talk about this:

How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them?

What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!)

What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance?

Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?"

Related-ish Links

Malaphor examples

Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 8, 2018

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse about little things? Do you feel compelled to fight about your opinions or refuse to let go of insignificant slights? Every couple has their share of arguments, but they don’t need to turn into relationship-busting warfare.

In this episode, Billy and Joy offer a word picture for getting to the bottom of disagreements and hopefully give you something meaningful to discuss. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

On average, how many of our disagreements are dealing in “ground floor” material?

What can we do to better dig around in “ground floor” material?

What is most difficult for you in teaching your ground floor material to your spouse and/or in learning about their ground floor?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

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