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Between Parents

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.
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Now displaying: Category: Marriage
Apr 16, 2019

Some say "life is a series of negotiations," so why shouldn’t marriage be the same way?  

In this episode we’ll discuss how negotiations is not only tedious, but also dangerous to your relationship with your spouse. Then, we’ll also suggest an alternate approach.

Talk About This:

Discuss your tendencies to turn challenges into negotiations. Does this happen often? Sometimes? Rarely?

When are you most likely to negotiate instead of white boarding your challenges as a couple?

What are reminders/key words you can use with your spouse to make sure the next decision is handled with a "team" approach?

What potential decisions are in your future where you might be tempted to negotiate?

Related Links:

Episode #29 - The Mosquitos of Marriage

Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Apr 9, 2019

Who are you?

I don’t understand him!

I don’t get her!

These are common frustrations in any relationship, but what can you do to move pass misunderstanding? How can you demystify your spouse? That’s today’s conversation!

Talk About This:

Take one of the areas of your marriage and talk to your spouse about how your behavior reflects Nature, Nurture, and/or Choice. Possible non-emotional areas to process are:

  • Where and how do you like to vacation
  • How do you like to spend your evenings
  • How do you respond to music

Related Links:

Episode # 107 – Understanding Personality Types in Marriage

Episode # 126 – The Five Seasons of Marriage Differences

Episode # 52 – How Family of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Episode # 97 – Forgiveness in Marriage 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

https://www.betweenparentspodcast.com

Mar 12, 2019

Have you ever noticed how your spouse is different from you? Have you ever been irritated by the difference? Maybe you’ve been able to move past the difference and ended up in a really happy place. What accounts for the spread between irritation and celebration? That’s the discussion on this episode!

Talk About This:

Evaluate what season are you in?

Is your spouse in the same season?

What are the differences that need to be celebrated?

What obstacles are preventing you from moving to season 4 or 5 (Appreciation/Celebration)

Related Links:

Episode #60 – What To Do When Your Spouse Annoys

Episode #107 – Understanding Personality Types

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 12, 2019

Do you love or hate Valentine’s Day? We are surprised how many people fall into the loathing camp! Perhaps it’s time to reframe this holiday and make it fun again. Today’s podcast gives you five ways to make that happen!

Talk About This:

Ask your spouse what they think their love language is...gifts/physical touch/words of affirmation/acts of service/quality time

Ask your spouse if they feel like Valentine's Day fills them up or drains them.

Talk about how you would MOST like to acknowledge the day (OR NOT) - remember - if it's a stressful thing, then you're not doing it right. We should ENJOY CELEBRATIONS ; ) - and that can mean simply letting them pass OR buying a box of chocolates.

Related Links:

The Five Love Languages By Gary Chapman HERE

Waffle House Valentine’s Day HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 5, 2019

Disagreements are part of every marriage, but do we have to fight? Or is it better to stuff our feelings in the name of keeping the peace? What if there’s a third option? That’s the discussion on this episode.

Talk About This:

Ask your spouse where THEY think you fall on the spectrum.

DO NOT DISAGREE - JUST LISTEN

In light of where you land, go through the three practice areas and decide what changes you need to make.

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 22, 2019

Have you ever been at a store or at a government agency and been completely frustrated with how poorly the place was run? If so, then you’ve come across this principle: A lack of organization leads to relational tension. This is true not only with service organizations - it’s true in our marriages. In this episode we’ll  discuss how you can make your marriage better simply by improving some of your systems.

Talk About This:

What tensions do we regularly face that might be related to bad (or no) systems?

What can we do, organizationally, to improve?

What solutions do we need to research or use? (What do we need to learn to make this better?)

Related Links:

Episode # 40 - The One Piece of Data That Blew Our Minds  

Date Night blog posts here, here, and here.

PLUS an @home date night idea HERE 

Book review – The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

A Blog post about Creating Homes in the kitchen HERE

 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Nov 27, 2018

Every marriage has moments where love feels dry or inaccessible. The challenge is not to deny this season, but to be ready for it and to respond well once it arrives! But how do you make this practical? That’s the discussion on this episode!

Next Steps:

Today's follow up is to conduct a self-evaluation and action plan on the Three Healing Steps.

Consider:

Where to I need ACT differently toward my spouse?

Catalog what my spouse appreciates in terms of loving gestures.

Practice praising your spouse AND FINALLY - create a habit of focusing on what's good.

Related Links:

The shoe throwing insult per wikpedia - HERE 

Episode #11 The Awkward Date Night

Episode #70 5 Ground Rules for Marriage Communication

Episode #84 Getting to the Bottom of Disagreements

Episode #88 Practicing Vulnerability in Marriage

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Nov 6, 2018

You’re engaged! Congratulations!! Let the fun begin!

A great thought! However, for many people who recently popped the question and said “yes,” the months before the wedding isn’t an easy season. Why is that? On today’s episode we’ll kick around what can make engagement season challenging and some practical ways to take off the pressure.

Talk about this:

Review the four stumbling blocks and discuss which one feels most threatening.

What steps do you need to take to minimize the threat and what should you do to make this season amazing?

Related Links:

Episode #72- Eight Things To Do Before You Get Married

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 16, 2018

We love personality tests not just because they help us grow individually, but because they can build empathy and understanding in our relationships. This is especially true in marriage. On this episode we’ll give you one example (ours!) of how a variety of tests provide a common language and improve our connection.

Talk about this:

How are you, as a couple, learning to leverage the knowledge of type and the common language found therein?

What are the tensions you are currently facing that might be more rooted in your personalities and types over what you currently think... that your spouse is simply doing this to bug you?

What's your next step to get to work?

Related Links:

Episode # 60 - What to do when spouses annoy

MBTI 

The Five Love Languages

Enneagram

Strength Finders 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 9, 2018

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to trash a place? Without constant maintenance it feels like garbage would take over our lives. The same is true in our marriage – little habits and behaviors creep into our relationship that can eventually trash the connection with our spouse. In this episode Billy and Joy review the “Dirty Dozen” of marriage garbage and offer some ways to see if any of them are cluttering your relationship.

Talk about this:

Where is there garbage in our marriage?

What steps do I need to take to get rid of it?

How can I take ownership of the garbage I leave around?

Related Links:

Episode #104 - Coming to grips with your spouse’s imperfection

Episode #95 – Marriage is a team sport

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode #97 – Forgiveness in Marriage

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Sep 25, 2018

Have you ever noticed your spouse is flawed? Of course this is a rhetorical question, but as couples say their vows, it’s easy to minimize those flaws. Don’t we all hope for a seamless compatibility to rule the day? But what do you do when as life progresses and the frustrations mount? How do you cope with the imperfections you always seem to notice in your spouse?

Talk about this:

This week we would love for you to sit with these steps - to think about the quality of your marriage and to examine where you might have tensions because you expect your spouse to be someone that they will never be. Then consider what steps you need to take to start the process of grieving and healing - and ultimately celebrating your spouse.

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Sep 11, 2018

What makes a couple ready for marriage? Is it the amount of time spent dating? Or is it based on shared experiences? Is a couple ready because they are generally “compatible” or because they have been great dance partners at weddings? Why is it important to be “ready” to be married anyway? All of that on this episode of Between Parents!

Talk about this:

As you think about your relationship and your “readiness” consider what areas need to be turned up and what areas need to be turned down.

TURN UP:

Love. Respect. Communication. Friendship.

TURN DOWN/REMOVE:

Expectations. Dark Corners. Unhealthy habits. Dependence on parents. Self-centric attitudes.

Related Links:

Episode # 55 – Can You Affair Proof Your Marriage?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Sep 4, 2018

So you think you’re marriage material? How do you know? Is there anything you can do in advance to make sure you’re ready to say, “I do” successfully? We think so! In today’s episode we discuss six key practices for getting ready for marriage even in the dating season.

Six Key Practices:

Practice Self-Awareness

Practice Healthy Conflict

Practice Other Awareness

Practice Serving

Practice Boundaries

Practice Intentional Community

Talk about this:

Where do I need the most practice?

What can I do to remember to practice?

And a BONUS QUESTION if someone passed this podcast along to you, in which of these categories did you feel under-prepared when you got married?

Related Links:

Ep #52 - How Family Of Origin Impacts Your Marriage

Ep #72 - Eight Things To Do Before You Get Married

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Aug 7, 2018

Has your spouse ever hurt you? Or have you ever done anything to hurt your spouse? No matter how great your marriage, there will be times where forgiveness is required. But even when you recognize this as true, the actual FORGIVING isn’t easy.

In this episode we discuss not only why you should forgive your spouse but some practical ways to build a habit of forgiveness.

Talk about this: This week we don't have questions for you so much as we want you to PRACTICE the last point of the podcast* which is to go to your spouse with anything YOU have done and ask for forgiveness - receive it well - then PRACTICE letting go!

(*Note – this might not make sense if you’re reading these notes before listening to the podcast, so go listen!)

 

Related links:

Benefits of forgiveness articles HERE and HERE (use google for a whole bunch more!)

Episode #60 – What To Do When Spouses Annoy

Episode #11 -The Awkward Date Night

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 24, 2018

There are plenty of word pictures that work for describing a great relationship, but one of the most memorable ones we’ve ever heard is seeing marriage as a team sport. In this episode, Billy and Joy break down five ways treating your spouse like a teammate can be a game changer.

Talk about this:
How well do we function as a team?

What areas need our attention?

What do you feel are your unique talents and where would you like to see my support?

When do you feel like I celebrate you well? And where can I do better?

Related Links:
The Awkward Date Night - Episode #11

The Awkward Date Night Blog Post

Also remember:
We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 3, 2018

We had so much fun in Episode #91 going through your parenting questions, we decided to address some of the personal and/or bite sized inquires on marriage this week. We love hearing from you and hope our input on these questions is helpful!

  1. What has been the toughest season for you as a couple?
  2. What is a piece of advice for couples married 5 to 10 years?
  3. What is the “secret sauce” for a good marriage? (Don’t give me a marriage book answer.)
  4. You talk about community alot - but what do you do when you aren’t part of a church? Or when your spouse doesn’t want to “connect with others?
  5. What do you think most newlyweds erroneously assume?

Related Links:

Episode # 44 - Getting Unstuck From Marriage Ruts

Episode #51 – 21 Bits of Advice for Newlyweds

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode # 7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 5, 2018

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow."  - Brene Brown

Wouldn’t it be great to be fully known and fully accepted? Isn’t that what love is all about? Isn’t it the ideal for marriage? Well, this kind of love doesn’t happen without a serious dose of vulnerability!

So how do we build this habit into our relationships? That’s the topic of today’s podcast. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well do you think we do on the vulnerability continuum?

When do you feel most safe to describe your feelings?

What makes you feel like I have listened well to you?

Related Links:

Episode #84 - Getting to the bottom of disagreements

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 15, 2018

Do you ever lose your cool? Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it? If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger.

In this episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us.

Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions!

Talk about this:

How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them?

What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!)

What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance?

Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?"

Related-ish Links

Malaphor examples

Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 8, 2018

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse about little things? Do you feel compelled to fight about your opinions or refuse to let go of insignificant slights? Every couple has their share of arguments, but they don’t need to turn into relationship-busting warfare.

In this episode, Billy and Joy offer a word picture for getting to the bottom of disagreements and hopefully give you something meaningful to discuss. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

On average, how many of our disagreements are dealing in “ground floor” material?

What can we do to better dig around in “ground floor” material?

What is most difficult for you in teaching your ground floor material to your spouse and/or in learning about their ground floor?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Apr 10, 2018

What if what you believe about marriage is a lie? Would you want to know the truth in advance?

In today’s episode Billy and Joy step through 10 common lies about marriage. Perhaps we should issue a #spoileralert

Talk about this:

Which lies are we most susceptible to believe?

Depending on your answer, have MORE conversations about those topics!

For marriage veterans, which lies did we miss?

Related-ish links:

In case you want the same toilet paper as Beyonce… shop Renova here.

Both quotes from this episode come from Tim Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage

We mention several back episodes of Between Parents

#35 – Four Terrible (But Really Romantic) Marriage Thoughts 

#45 - Let's Talk About Sex: Marriage Edition

#7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

Check out our new website @betweenparentspodcast.com

Also, tag someone who you think would like this episode on one of the socials! Or leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

Mar 13, 2018

In our last episode Joy detailed her list of what wives really want their husbands to know, so now it’s Billy’s turn. Of COURSE this list isn’t all-inclusive and, to be sure, some of it may not be relevant to you (especially #9), but hey – it’s a great start!

Talk about this:

Wives, ask your husbands if any of these reflect his feelings!

Also remember…

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

 

Mar 6, 2018

While there’s no instruction manual for marriage, it’s not uncommon for spouses to have a mental “wish list” of things they wish their spouse understood. In this week’s episode Joy has taken a stab at fifteen such “things.” Maybe you’ll agree - -maybe you won’t. Either way, it should prompt some good discussion!

Guys – don’t worry. Next week Billy will have a chance to share his list!

Talk about this:

Husbands, ask your wives if any of these things reflect her feelings!

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Feb 13, 2018

In the throws of new love, dating, and then engagement, it’s easy to lose sight of what it takes to start a marriage well. What do you need to focus on and what needs to be minimized? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss eight things every couple should do before tying the knot!

Related Links:

Our conversation about how family of origin impacts marriage HERE

Talk about this:

If you're engaged or dating someone, which of the 8 steps are you missing? What's the next thing you could do to make your way through the list?

If you're already married, it's not too late to address many of the issues on this list...which ones do you feel like you would benefit your relationship now?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Feb 13, 2018

In the throws of new love, dating, and then engagement, it’s easy to lose sight of what it takes to start a marriage well. What do you need to focus on and what needs to be minimized? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss eight things every couple should do before tying the knot!

Related Links:

Our conversation about how family of origin impacts marriage HERE

Talk about this:

If you're engaged or dating someone, which of the 8 steps are you missing? What's the next thing you could do to make your way through the list?

If you're already married, it's not too late to address many of the issues on this list...which ones do you feel like you would benefit your relationship now?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Jan 30, 2018

In marriage awesome communication doesn’t just happen. It’s not like falling off a bike; it’s something you work for. Can you make the process easier? Where do you begin? In this episode, Billy and Joy suggest you start with five essential ground rules. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

Where do we think our current communication patterns came from? Is that a good or bad thing?

Are there any ground rules we don't routinely observe? How can we do better?

Are there other ground rules we need to discuss and establish? If so, what are they?

Related Links:

Awkward Date Nights – article HERE podcast #11 HERE

He speaks / She speaks article from Psychology Today HERE

Also remember…

Between Parents is now on SPOTIFY!!! Yup… So if you’re recommending this podcast to someone who may not be using more typical podcast platforms, send them over to Spotify!! Of course you can still find us on Apple podcasts, SoundCloud, Tune-In (use this platform from Alexa – so cool!), Overcast, and Stitcher. If for some reason you can’t find us on a different platform, please let us know and we’ll chase it down!

Between Parents is on “The Socials” too!

Of course we are on Facebook. If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast

You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents

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