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Between Parents

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.
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Now displaying: Category: Family, Parenting
Jul 9, 2019

Do you ever lose your cool?  Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it?  If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger.

In this summer replay episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us.

Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions!

Talk about this:

How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them?
What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!)
What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance? Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?"

Related-ish Links

Malaphor examples HERE

Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE

Also remember:
Have you left a review on iTunes?  This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show.

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

May 14, 2019

What do you want to be when you grow up? This seems like a harmless question, right? But what if it undermines what we really want for our kids? That’s the thesis of a recent article by Adam Grant and the topic of today’s podcast.

Talk About This:

When we talk about the future with our kids, how much do we emphasize the "what" you'll be versus what you'll be "LIKE?"

What are the potential liabilities in the way we talk future employment with our kids? What should we continue to emphasize in the same way?

What unique personalities, types, or wirings separate our kids (or separate our kids from us) that should be noticed as we have future-oriented conversations? 

Related-ish Links:

The Full NYT article by Adam Grant HERE 

Dolphin like submarine video HERE

Adam Grant TED talk HERE and his book Originals HERE 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

May 7, 2019

Today’s episode clears out some of the random questions we have received about family life. There’s a little something for everyone here PLUS maybe we answered a question that’s been on your mind too!

Talk About This:

In what areas do we struggle with being servant-hearted?

What are key words/phrases we can use to elevate our service factor?

What prevents our ability to release our expectations in our relationships?

Who do we need to spend time with those behind us (newer to) in their season of marriage?

Discuss the idea of opening up your home to others. Are you ready for that? What would be your hesitations? What makes you excited about doing so?

Related Links:

Episode #89 Why Married People Need Single Friends (& Vise Versa)

 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Apr 30, 2019

Are you ever tempted to control your kids? Perhaps you’re merely tempted to drift into the world of “over-managing” them. Whatever the case, in this episode we give you a word picture WE LOVE that can help you stop the control madness!

Talk About This:

We encourage you to talk to your spouse and extended friends and family about the idea of being a Gardener or an Architect. Work to bring that language into your conversations.

Then identify how your mindset reflects Gardner ideas or Architect ideas. How is this mindset helping or hurting?

NEXT consider what behaviors need to change BECAUSE of this mindset.

Finally, discuss where you feel most pressure to grow at home- curiosity/patience? Improving environments? Or purging worry? 

Related Links:

Episode #65 – Balancing Freedom & Responsibility

Episode #114 – How to Worry Less About Your Kids

Neil Gaiman on the Tim Ferris Podcast

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Mar 19, 2019

Have you ever wondered how you’re doing as a parent? What do your kids think about the way you handle the family? If you want some insightful comments, ask them! In this episode we’ll discuss how to solicit feedback from the people who experience your highs and lows first hand.

Talk About This:

Although this week was all about questions, we still think there are a few things you should process with your spouse.  

Discuss the answers you got from your kids and what you learned. Did any of the answers surprise you?

Are there things you need to change in light of your kid's answers?

What would you do differently the next time you plan an "awkward" session?

Related Links:

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Feb 26, 2019

Are you stressed out when parents “brag” about their kids? Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up in the land of parents? You’re not alone and you’re not crazy. But what do you do to relieve the pressure when you feel like raising kids is a competition? Let’s chat about it!

Talk About This:

How often do I feel competitive with other parents? What are the triggers?
Is there anything I do that could make other parents feel like I am being competitive with them?
What specific person/family do I need to celebrate more?

Related Links:

Mindset by Carol Dweck

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 29, 2019

Are you exhausted or discouraged? Perhaps a little bit of both? Today’s podcast is for you with five big picture, you-can-do-this, “at the end of the day” bits of encouragement. You’ve got this!

Talk About This:

What thought did I MOST need to hear?

HOW can I commit it to memory?

What other parent needs this encouragement? (pass it along!)

Related Links:

Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl - HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 15, 2019

Doesn’t every parent want his or her kid to become independent? While this seems like an obvious “yes,” many parents interrupt their children’s growth process by making life too easy for them. When we fall into the trap of removing hardships and shortening challenges we rob our kids of lessons they will need for life outside the home.

It’s a big topic and we hope today’s discussion challenges your thinking!

Talk About This:

What is my natural bent... to be too permissive or too restrictive on my kid’s push towards independence? What should I do in light of this?

What are some of the reasons I am reluctant to let m kids "do it themselves?"

What are some of the greatest steps to independence I could grant my kids in THIS season of their lives? What are some of their "stretch" activities?

Related Links:

The Coddling of the American Mind HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Jan 8, 2019

How will your kids describe your family when they are grown? How will they characterize the high points and low points? For parents it helps to start journey with the end in mind.  In this episode, we’ll review a few categories to consider and discuss as you start a new year!

Talk About This:

Imagine your kids as adults completing the following sentences. What would you like them to say?

  1. My mom and/or Dad were consistently ________.
  2. I admired the way my family __________.
  3. I appreciate how my parents intentionally taught me to _______. (Consider both hard and soft skills)
  4. I wish my family had done more _________ (or done less)
  5. When we disagreed with each other we usually _______.
  6. I know I was loved because __________.

Review with your spouse or community what you need to start doing and what do you need to stop doing to make sure you’re on the path to your desired outcome?

Related Links:

The Five Love Languages for Kids – HERE

7 Habits of Highly Effective People -HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Dec 18, 2018

How is your pace around the holidays? Do you feel like you are absorbing the joys? Or does it all feel like it’s a blur? In this episode we cover four reminders that will help your family make the season more meaningful.

Talk About This:

Are we comfortable with our pace?

What are our favorite traditions? Are there some we need to ditch?

Related Link:

Episode #78 – The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Dec 11, 2018

#115 – Making Family Meals Worthwhile

As great as sitting around the dinner table sounds, sometimes it’s challenging to pull off. We get it! We’ve been there. On today’s podcast we’ll discuss why and how we can prioritize mealtime together and the difference it makes in connecting as a family.

Next Steps:

Pull out the ol’ calendar and schedule your family meals together for the rest of your month

Related-ish Link:

We have RESEARCH!

National Health Institute Review HERE

Family Meals & Social Engagement Study HERE

Family Meals & Overall Health insight HERE

The Family Dinner Project Website HERE

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Dec 4, 2018

Do you know anyone who doesn’t worry about their children?? Neither do we!
But all of this fretting may not be good for our kids or for us. On today’s episode we talk about the risks of worry and steps we need to take to reduce our anxiety.

Next Steps:

Evaluate - how much time and energy do you spend worrying? Is it reflexive for you? Do you wear it as a badge of honor?

Because this may be hard to see in the mirror - and to verify your self-assessment and ask your spouse/friends to give you feedback on whether you are a worrier.

Finally - most of us could stand to worry less - to shift our mental energy to something more productive - think about AND ACT on how to express more confidence to your kid!

Related-ish Link:

Articles on the impact of worry on health HERE and HERE 

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! 

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 30, 2018

Does the pace of your family ever feel frantic? Do you feel like you run from thing to thing to thing? You’re not alone! On this episode we discuss what it means to adjust our pace and create strategies for releasing pressure in our family life.

Talk about this:

Do we have an unhealthy tempo?
What's preventing us from making adjustments?

NOW TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS!

Related Links:

Episode #38 – Keystone Habits of Healthy Families

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Oct 23, 2018

Life is messy – especially when it comes parenting. (Or perhaps your kids actually pick up there stuff!) If we aren’t careful, chaos can take over more than our household, it can impact our relationships. Like Episode #106, in today’s podcast Billy and Joy discuss what sloppy habits we need to purge in order to keep our family healthy!

Talk about this:

Where is there garbage in our parenting?

What steps do we need to take to get rid of it?

Related Links:

NY Times article on sleep HERE

Episode #106 – 12 Garbage Habits in Marriage

Joy’s blog posts on quick meals HERE and HERE

Episode # 78 – The Best Way to Destress Your Family

Episode # 33 – Enjoying Your Family

Episode # 10 – Keeping the Family Fun

Episode #31 - Erasing Fear From Parenting

Episode #99 – Asking Better Questions

Episode #30 – Five Important Questions to Ask Your Kids

Episode #3 – Fighting with Kids

Episode #85 – Respond vs React

Episode #57 – Hurrying Home

Episode #83 – Leave Kids Space to Grow

Episode #58 - A Parent’s Most Fundamental Role

Episode #98 – Five Truths For Discouraged Parents

Episode # 2 – A Warning About Parent Measurements

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Oct 2, 2018

Wouldn’t you love to get logical, reasoned feedback from your kids? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if they expressed appreciation for your hard work, if they explained when they were hurt or frustrated or if they admitted that you were usually right? On today’s podcast we discuss things your kids won’t tell you, but are true nonetheless.

Talk about this:

What do you think your kids don't tell you?

What encouragement makes the biggest difference to you?

Are there any areas where you feel like you need to make changes?

Also remember:

Want to reach us? You can find us on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Sep 18, 2018

Ready or not, your young children will soon become teenagers. For most of us, this means our parenting journey will feel like peddling a bike up a long, steep hill. If you want to be ready, you’ll build momentum for the teenage challenge during the elementary school years. In this podcast, we’ll discuss what that means with practical ideas and starting points!

Talk about this:

Spend time imaging what your kids will be like as teenagers.
Compare notes with your spouse or community.
Discuss where do we need to create more habits and routines with our kids? (Keep an eye toward building momentum!)

Related Links:

Episode #56 – Dreading The Thought Of Your Kids Growing Up

Episode #64 – Talking To Your Kids About Temptation

Episode #33 – Enjoying Your Family

Abundance Mindset – this is a term developed by Stephen Covey and explained in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. A summary is on Wikipedia article here.

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

 

Aug 21, 2018

Have your kids ever clammed up when you ask them questions? Do you feel like it’s been ages since you’ve heard more than a one-word answer? Perhaps there’s a better way to chat with our kids.

In this episode we discuss five principles for starting great conversations.

1st PRINCIPLE: Question for interest - If it’s important to your kids, it should be important to you.

2nd PRINCIPLE: Question for stories – bring out the storyteller in your child

3rd PRINCIPLE: Question for the long view – anchoring your kid to family identity

4th PRINCIPLE: Question for insight - checking your child’s gauges

5th PRINCIPLE: Question for opinion – learning what your kid really thinks

 

Talk about this:

What are the most common questions you ask your kids? Do they reflect your values?

Which of the five principles do you need to incorporate into your repertoire?

How can you remember to ask better questions?

Related links:

Mike Birbiglia asks Obama for baby advice here

Episode #37 - Creating A Family Identity

Episode # 41 - 21 Conversation Starters For Families

Joy’s blog on asking effective questions here

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Aug 14, 2018

Have you ever been put into a tailspin by a challenging day? What parent isn’t sometimes discouraged by the rigors of raising kids? Today’s episode has five nuggets of encouragement you need to keep in mind. Remember – you are doing a great work!!

Talk about this: If you're feeling discouraged, we want to encourage you to share what's going on with your spouse and others in your circle of influence.

Also share which truth was most encouraging to you.

Related links:

Episode #97 Asking for Forgiveness

Text for Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content!

Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com

Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 31, 2018

School days are right around the corner, which often feels like a blessing, but can also feel like a curse. So how do you make the most of the school year? Today’s episode is a great place to start with eight reminders for every family with school-aged children!

Talk about this:

Which item on this list feels like a challenge for us?

What’s our plan for encouraging our child’s teacher?

Related Links: Episode #66 – Picking Schools For Your Kids

An additional article on enjoying school here

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 17, 2018

Do you ever wonder how your parenting ranks? Do you evaluate your mother/father “job performance” relative to others? Do you ever question how others are so pulled together while you struggle? These questions are easy to consider, but pull us off track of what matters. In this week’s podcast Billy and Joy review a couple of mental exercises and a few habit that will help kick the parent intimidation trap.

Talk about this:

Where do we have a limited mindset?

How easy is it for me to be vulnerable with others? Who are my “people?”

Who can I celebrate TODAY? Stop everything and shoot a text RIGHT NOW!

Where do I need to replace lies with truth?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 10, 2018

Today’s podcast is an exercise in vulnerability. We often say we are flawed and broken parents, but today we get specific! We hope you’ll relate as we discuss themes that creep up repeatedly in our family and inspire you to dig up your themes as well!

Talk about this:

Get out a pad of paper and write down your parenting flaws and/or themes.

How do those flaws impact your parenting?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 26, 2018

As much as we try to address the assorted questions lobbed our way, sometimes we lag with the personal and/or bite-sized inquires. In today’s episode we are solving that problem with a handful of random, but hopefully helpful, questions you guys ask. Take a listen and, by all means, keep asking!

  1. What do you say to a discouraged parent?
  2. What is something new you’ve learned?
  3. Where do you learn?
  4. Which is harder… the toddler years or the teenage years?
  5. How are you most “weird” as a family?

Related Links:

Episode # 8 – Is this really just a stage? 

Episode # 2 - A Warning About Parent Measurement

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 19, 2018

You’re going to be a grandparent. Congratulations! This should be easy, like Parenting 2.0, right?

Not so fast. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the tension filled moments between expectant parents and grandparents. They have compiled a list of best practices and ways to avoid the most common relationship pitfalls.

Talk about this:

Grandparents – process the topics discussed on the podcast that you haven’t reviewed already. Remember to get clarity about delivery and home visits and ask about their strategies.

Parents – make sure your have clarity on your hopes for the delivery and homecoming process and be ready to answer the question “how can I help?”

Related Links:

Defining your family story – podcast HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

May 29, 2018

Have you noticed how many kids suffer from anxiety these days? Therapists are alarmed by the trend, experts can’t agree on the causes, and parents live with the threat daily. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the probable causes of anxiety and leave you with some practical questions to consider as you raise your kids.

Talk about this:

What do we model in terms of our anxiety levels?
Do we fret? Are we "worriers?" Do we operate from a place of fear?
Are there fear and anxiety issues you need to deal with yourself?

What is our plan for ensuring our kids have a robust community?
Do we help them process the tension in the comparison game?
Do we encourage competition and achievement or elevate the higher value of relationships?

We have to ask ourselves, what's the price of striving in our families?
What would happen if we made it our AMBITION to lead quiet (er) lives?

Related Links

A sobering look from the NYTimes Magazine...HERE 

Lisa Damour’s book describes how anxiety impacts girls in her practice in her terrific book Untangled. Find it HERE 

All kinds of great material from David Thomas and the team at Dayspring - HERE 

Time Magazine profile of the anxiety issue teens face- HERE 

Some blame anxiety on the lack of play... read about it HERE

Our previous podcast on keeping family fun HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 22, 2018

Even though we know it’s important to have dinner together, after hustling the family to the table, it’s exhausting to guide a meaningful conversation. Where do you start? Who has the energy to form a strategy?

In this episode Billy and Joy jump-start the process with a structure and 60 questions (pdf attached) so you can make your time around the table meaningful.

Take a listen!

Related Links

8 Strategies For Getting Your Family Around The Table

Family Stories That Bind Us - NYT

The Secrets of Happy Families

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

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