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Between Parents

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.
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Jul 17, 2018

Do you ever wonder how your parenting ranks? Do you evaluate your mother/father “job performance” relative to others? Do you ever question how others are so pulled together while you struggle? These questions are easy to consider, but pull us off track of what matters. In this week’s podcast Billy and Joy review a couple of mental exercises and a few habit that will help kick the parent intimidation trap.

Talk about this:

Where do we have a limited mindset?

How easy is it for me to be vulnerable with others? Who are my “people?”

Who can I celebrate TODAY? Stop everything and shoot a text RIGHT NOW!

Where do I need to replace lies with truth?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 10, 2018

Today’s podcast is an exercise in vulnerability. We often say we are flawed and broken parents, but today we get specific! We hope you’ll relate as we discuss themes that creep up repeatedly in our family and inspire you to dig up your themes as well!

Talk about this:

Get out a pad of paper and write down your parenting flaws and/or themes.

How do those flaws impact your parenting?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jul 3, 2018

We had so much fun in Episode #91 going through your parenting questions, we decided to address some of the personal and/or bite sized inquires on marriage this week. We love hearing from you and hope our input on these questions is helpful!

  1. What has been the toughest season for you as a couple?
  2. What is a piece of advice for couples married 5 to 10 years?
  3. What is the “secret sauce” for a good marriage? (Don’t give me a marriage book answer.)
  4. You talk about community alot - but what do you do when you aren’t part of a church? Or when your spouse doesn’t want to “connect with others?
  5. What do you think most newlyweds erroneously assume?

Related Links:

Episode # 44 - Getting Unstuck From Marriage Ruts

Episode #51 – 21 Bits of Advice for Newlyweds

Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night

Episode # 7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 26, 2018

As much as we try to address the assorted questions lobbed our way, sometimes we lag with the personal and/or bite-sized inquires. In today’s episode we are solving that problem with a handful of random, but hopefully helpful, questions you guys ask. Take a listen and, by all means, keep asking!

  1. What do you say to a discouraged parent?
  2. What is something new you’ve learned?
  3. Where do you learn?
  4. Which is harder… the toddler years or the teenage years?
  5. How are you most “weird” as a family?

Related Links:

Episode # 8 – Is this really just a stage? 

Episode # 2 - A Warning About Parent Measurement

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 19, 2018

You’re going to be a grandparent. Congratulations! This should be easy, like Parenting 2.0, right?

Not so fast. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the tension filled moments between expectant parents and grandparents. They have compiled a list of best practices and ways to avoid the most common relationship pitfalls.

Talk about this:

Grandparents – process the topics discussed on the podcast that you haven’t reviewed already. Remember to get clarity about delivery and home visits and ask about their strategies.

Parents – make sure your have clarity on your hopes for the delivery and homecoming process and be ready to answer the question “how can I help?”

Related Links:

Defining your family story – podcast HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 12, 2018

Have you ever noticed how often friendships drift apart after people get married? Why is this a consistent pattern? Why don’t friends stick around after the “I do” is said?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefit of having a diverse circle of friends whether you’re married or single. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well are we cultivating friendships with people who have a different marital status?

What "benefits" seem most applicable to our lives?

What "bad behavior" are we most likely to indulge?

Related Links:

Nearly & Newly Podcast Package HERE

Say Goodbye to Hollywood HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Jun 5, 2018

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow."  - Brene Brown

Wouldn’t it be great to be fully known and fully accepted? Isn’t that what love is all about? Isn’t it the ideal for marriage? Well, this kind of love doesn’t happen without a serious dose of vulnerability!

So how do we build this habit into our relationships? That’s the topic of today’s podcast. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

How well do you think we do on the vulnerability continuum?

When do you feel most safe to describe your feelings?

What makes you feel like I have listened well to you?

Related Links:

Episode #84 - Getting to the bottom of disagreements

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 29, 2018

Have you noticed how many kids suffer from anxiety these days? Therapists are alarmed by the trend, experts can’t agree on the causes, and parents live with the threat daily. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the probable causes of anxiety and leave you with some practical questions to consider as you raise your kids.

Talk about this:

What do we model in terms of our anxiety levels?
Do we fret? Are we "worriers?" Do we operate from a place of fear?
Are there fear and anxiety issues you need to deal with yourself?

What is our plan for ensuring our kids have a robust community?
Do we help them process the tension in the comparison game?
Do we encourage competition and achievement or elevate the higher value of relationships?

We have to ask ourselves, what's the price of striving in our families?
What would happen if we made it our AMBITION to lead quiet (er) lives?

Related Links

A sobering look from the NYTimes Magazine...HERE 

Lisa Damour’s book describes how anxiety impacts girls in her practice in her terrific book Untangled. Find it HERE 

All kinds of great material from David Thomas and the team at Dayspring - HERE 

Time Magazine profile of the anxiety issue teens face- HERE 

Some blame anxiety on the lack of play... read about it HERE

Our previous podcast on keeping family fun HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 22, 2018

Even though we know it’s important to have dinner together, after hustling the family to the table, it’s exhausting to guide a meaningful conversation. Where do you start? Who has the energy to form a strategy?

In this episode Billy and Joy jump-start the process with a structure and 60 questions (pdf attached) so you can make your time around the table meaningful.

Take a listen!

Related Links

8 Strategies For Getting Your Family Around The Table

Family Stories That Bind Us - NYT

The Secrets of Happy Families

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 15, 2018

Do you ever lose your cool? Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it? If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger.

In this episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us.

Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions!

Talk about this:

How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them?

What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!)

What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance?

Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?"

Related-ish Links

Malaphor examples

Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 8, 2018

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse about little things? Do you feel compelled to fight about your opinions or refuse to let go of insignificant slights? Every couple has their share of arguments, but they don’t need to turn into relationship-busting warfare.

In this episode, Billy and Joy offer a word picture for getting to the bottom of disagreements and hopefully give you something meaningful to discuss. Take a listen!

Talk about this:

On average, how many of our disagreements are dealing in “ground floor” material?

What can we do to better dig around in “ground floor” material?

What is most difficult for you in teaching your ground floor material to your spouse and/or in learning about their ground floor?

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

May 1, 2018

How can you be sure if your kids are ready for new responsibilities? Are there risks involved when you over or under nurture them? How do you give more freedom to your kids?

Tackling these questions (plus a few more!). Take a listen!

Talk about this:

What is your tendency – to over or under nurture your kids? In what ways do you need to pivot or correct?

How well do you balance between encouraging your kids to be independent versus demanding they need to hit an adult standard or quality?

In what ways can you leave more room for your kids to grow in their ability to be more independent? 

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Apr 24, 2018

Are you excited about your kids being out of school this summer? Or does the summer schedule wreak havoc on your family life?  Even though it feels like we have barely defrosted from winter, the days of grilling, swimming, and sunscreen will be here before you know it.

If you’re like many parents, the change of routine has its blessings and curses. On this episode Billy and Joy give some practical tips for making summer fun with just a little bit of effort. Have a listen! 

Also remember:

We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Apr 17, 2018

Have you ever felt like your kids aren’t grateful for what they have or what they experience? Do you ever feel like they live with a distasteful attitude of demandingness? Perhaps you see this tendency in yourself?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefits of having an attitude of gratitude and some practical ways to build the habit of thankfulness in your family. 

Talk about this:

How well do I (personally) communicate gratitude? and how well is our family overall at cultivating attitudes of gratitude?

Where are your family "pinch points?" What parts of our family environment need to look different and what habits do we need to cultivate?

Related-ish Links

Episode #17 – Creating a Plan For Money & Allowance With Your Kids 

Do guys or girls make better sound effects? Check out the video HERE

 

Apr 10, 2018

What if what you believe about marriage is a lie? Would you want to know the truth in advance?

In today’s episode Billy and Joy step through 10 common lies about marriage. Perhaps we should issue a #spoileralert

Talk about this:

Which lies are we most susceptible to believe?

Depending on your answer, have MORE conversations about those topics!

For marriage veterans, which lies did we miss?

Related-ish links:

In case you want the same toilet paper as Beyonce… shop Renova here.

Both quotes from this episode come from Tim Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage

We mention several back episodes of Between Parents

#35 – Four Terrible (But Really Romantic) Marriage Thoughts 

#45 - Let's Talk About Sex: Marriage Edition

#7 – Don’t Do Life Alone

Also remember:

Check out our new website @betweenparentspodcast.com

Also, tag someone who you think would like this episode on one of the socials! Or leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

Apr 3, 2018

Everyone keeps score. Our brains are hard-wired to categorize even when it comes to grading our children or marriages. So when someone asks, “how are you doing” what do you use for your scorecard?

In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the perils of focusing on micro gauges and limiting our evaluations to tangible measures. If you are walking through challenging days, you will definitely appreciate this discussion.

Talk about this:

How do you we currently "score" our family or marriage? How confident are we in the criteria we are using?

What SHOULD we be using to score our relationships?

Related link:

We love Seth Godin – his blog is here…do yourself a solid and check him out!

Mar 27, 2018

Stress makes every area of life more difficult, but it’s particularly challenging in families. The good news is, there’s an antidote. In this episode Billy and Joy tee up one simple, yet challenging, approach.

Related-ish Links

Essentialism by Greg McKeown found here

NY Times Article On Mommy Wine Culture here

Mary Poppins – Let’s go fly a kite! Behind the scenes here.

Albert Einstein… " When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge."

Find other episodes on play here …Check out #10, 33, and 62

Talk about this:

Are we stressed? If so, then check the gauges and find the cause?
How can we have more PLAY in our life?

What are the obstacles keeping us from play that we need to push through?

Also remember:

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

Mar 20, 2018

Have you ever felt like your children rule your life? Of COURSE they require a ton of care and nurturing, but have they become the core of your family? The temptation to build the family around the kids is one of the easiest things for parents to slip into. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the dangers of child-centric parenting and how to see if you’re inadvertently living that life!

This may be one of those episodes where you disagree with our thoughts, but hopefully it will get you talking!

Related-ish links:

Psychology Today talks about narcissism here… 

We mention a few previous episodes that expand on these topics.  Links below... 

Episode 4 – Practical Steps For Prioritizing Marriage

Episode 31 – Erasing Fear From Parenting

Episode 32 – 6 Crucial Practices Before Becoming Parents

Talk about this:

It's likely all of us have some child-centric habits - so this week's "play along with us at home" questions are... in what areas do you make your kids the center of your world? how can we make practical changes to move them from the center?

Also remember:

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

You can find us @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. We love hearing from you!!

Mar 13, 2018

In our last episode Joy detailed her list of what wives really want their husbands to know, so now it’s Billy’s turn. Of COURSE this list isn’t all-inclusive and, to be sure, some of it may not be relevant to you (especially #9), but hey – it’s a great start!

Talk about this:

Wives, ask your husbands if any of these reflect his feelings!

Also remember…

Tag someone who you think would like this podcast on one of the socials! Leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support!

 

Mar 6, 2018

While there’s no instruction manual for marriage, it’s not uncommon for spouses to have a mental “wish list” of things they wish their spouse understood. In this week’s episode Joy has taken a stab at fifteen such “things.” Maybe you’ll agree - -maybe you won’t. Either way, it should prompt some good discussion!

Guys – don’t worry. Next week Billy will have a chance to share his list!

Talk about this:

Husbands, ask your wives if any of these things reflect her feelings!

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Feb 27, 2018

What did you think life would be like when you became a parent? What were your hopes and dreams? What did you expect from your kids and your experience?

Whatever your answer, there’s tremendous power in those expectations. In today’s episode Billy and Joy talk through lesser known, but realistic expectations every parent should have.

Talk about this:

Which of these expectations is most challenging for you to manage and why?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Feb 20, 2018

What is it about Middle School that makes everything feel so awkward? Is it the rush of hormones? Is it the lack of executive reasoning? Is it because parents are put off by the goofiness or hygiene?

Yes to all of the above. Still, with a little patience and a plan, the Middle School season can be AMAZING. Take a listen and see for yourself.

Talk about this:

What are we currently doing that seems out of step with our middle schooler's developmental reality?

Where do we need to improve our plan?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Finally - remember to tag your social media posts with #middleschoolawesomeness and #betweenparents

Feb 13, 2018

In the throws of new love, dating, and then engagement, it’s easy to lose sight of what it takes to start a marriage well. What do you need to focus on and what needs to be minimized? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss eight things every couple should do before tying the knot!

Related Links:

Our conversation about how family of origin impacts marriage HERE

Talk about this:

If you're engaged or dating someone, which of the 8 steps are you missing? What's the next thing you could do to make your way through the list?

If you're already married, it's not too late to address many of the issues on this list...which ones do you feel like you would benefit your relationship now?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Feb 13, 2018

In the throws of new love, dating, and then engagement, it’s easy to lose sight of what it takes to start a marriage well. What do you need to focus on and what needs to be minimized? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss eight things every couple should do before tying the knot!

Related Links:

Our conversation about how family of origin impacts marriage HERE

Talk about this:

If you're engaged or dating someone, which of the 8 steps are you missing? What's the next thing you could do to make your way through the list?

If you're already married, it's not too late to address many of the issues on this list...which ones do you feel like you would benefit your relationship now?

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

Feb 6, 2018

How well do you share your feelings with your kids? Are you an over or an under sharer? Vulnerability is challenging, but the best place for your kids to learn this life skill is with you. Today’s episode is all about why your kids need to see how you engage with the world (AND them) emotionally.

Talk about this:

Do I withhold the emotional side of my thoughts from my kids? If so, why?

What topics or tension points would benefit from me sharing an extra 20% of my emotions?

Related Links:

If you want to learn more about forgiving your kids, check out Between Parents episode # 22 - HERE

Also remember…

Sharing is caring! If you enjoy Between Parents, please share with your friends. Tag someone on the “socials” or repost. We are on Facebook @betweenparentspodcast and you can chat back with us on Instagram @betweenparents or on Twitter @between_parents

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