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Between Parents

This podcast is a dialog about challenges and opportunities parents face as they raise kids, enjoy marriage, and live a purpose-filled life. These honest conversations give parents fodder so they can talk to each other, be encouraged, and recognize they aren't raising kids alone.
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Now displaying: November, 2016
Nov 29, 2016

Even when we know feedback strengthens relationships, in a marriage it’s easy to give input out of anger, at the wrong time, or to avoid the process entirely. In this episode we discuss practical steps for getting feedback from your spouse and how this process can strengthen your relationship.

Related (ish) Links and Follow up

CHICK-fil-A (emphasis matters) - But if you listen to the Oxford dictionary, maybe Joy is more right than wrong!  (What do you think?)

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/pronunciation/english/chick-fil-a

A blog post outlining much of this talk is here:

http://joyphenix.com/blog/the-awkward-date-night/ 

Finally, as promised, here’s a list of the sample questions we discussed on the episode:

Sample Questions:

  • If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
  • Have I done anything to hurt you recently? If so, what?
  • Do any of my friendships make you uncomfortable?
  • What’s one thing that I do that bothers you that I don’t seem to realize?
  • Is there anything that you’re nervous to talk to me about? If so, what?
  • In what ways do you ever feel disrespected by me?
  • In what ways would you like to change our level of emotional intimacy?
  • In what ways would you like to change our level of physical intimacy?
  • In what ways do I cause you to feel unloved?
  • Do you have any secrets that you’ve been afraid to tell me?

Remember to end with a couple of positive questions.

  • What do you think we are doing well?
  • What do you love most about our marriage these days?

Bonus family questions (as mentioned)

  • What could I do to be a better parent?
  • What could I change to make our relationship better?

Talk About This:

This week is all about talking through the questions above. Please GO for it!

 If you haven’t left us a review yet, please do so!!

Nov 22, 2016

Whether you have intentionally set aside family connection time OR you have found yourself waiting together in an unexpectedly long line (coke freestyle machines, I’m looking at you!), make the most of the time by playing together. Today’s conversation is about some of our favorite, (mostly) mobile games that give you the opportunity to laugh together.

Related (ish) Links

How many hours does the average dog sleep?

http://www.petful.com/behaviors/how-long-dogs-sleep-average/

Algorithm a la Urban Dictionary…

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=algorithm&defid=8162210

Squiggly (make a picture) game

http://joyphenix.com/blog/keeping-dinner-fun/

License plate games

This post describes the license plate game along with a bunch of other road trip games.

http://joyphenix.com/blog/on-the-road-again/

Compliment game

http://joyphenix.com/blog/the-compliment-game/

Telephone on paper

http://joyphenix.com/blog/playing-telephone-on-paper/

Make up a story

http://joyphenix.com/blog/table-games/

https://www.storycubes.com

Wikipedia challenge & Storytelling

http://joyphenix.com/blog/home-date-night/

Pee Chee folders (Did you have these growing up?)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pee_Chee_folder

Drawsomething

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draw_Something

Tensies

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=tensies+game+rules&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

Talk about this:

Tell us about your favorite games!!!

 

Nov 15, 2016

Every relationship has its tensions, but hanging with your in-laws has its own brand of intensity. While dynamics can vary wildly, a few basic principles can help any situation. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about a handful of “best practices” which are great foundations for healthy in-law relationships.

Related (ish) Links 

Earl Gray is NOT English Breakfast Tea

https://blog.yourtea.com/earl-grey-vs-english-breakfast-tea/

Play the game – can you hear Mack, the yellow lab? He goes on a rolling escapade in the middle of recording ignoring all the pleas of our sound engineer (Billy).

 

This is a good article about the importance of trying to be empathetic

http://www.wsj.com/articles/why-you-should-have-more-empathy-1462210724

Boundaries are your friend! This is our favorite writers on this topic are Henry Cloud and John Townsend

https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Kids-Children-Control-Their/dp/0310243157/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1478795238&sr=8-5&keywords=boundaries

 Please subscribe AND leave a review on iTunes. It really helps others find us! 

Nov 8, 2016

We don’t always realize both our kids AND our parenting are traveling through predictable stages. In fact, we go through the phases not once, but twice. In this episode Billy & Joy go through each stage so you will can recognize the challenges and realize that the "deja vu" you're experiencing is completely normal!

Related (ish) Links:

Backmasking a la Wikipedia 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backmasking

The famous Farrah poster… you don’t need a link do you? How about this one to switch things up?

http://www.thebarbiecollection.com/celebrity-dolls/farrah-fawcett-doll-v7161

Subliminal messages

http://www.neuro-vision.us/wordpress/subliminal-persuasion/do-subliminal-messages-work/

Growth Stage – Stephen Glenn

Glenn’s most popular book is Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-indulgent World

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761511288?_encoding=UTF8&isInIframe=0&n=283155&ref_=dp_proddesc_0&s=books&showDetailProductDesc=1#product-description_feature_div

The book with the stages isn’t currently in print, but you can read the material on google books here:

https://books.google.com/books?id=5jA0CIc-E3QC&pg=PT23&lpg=PT23&dq=stephen+glenn+child+development+stages&source=bl&ots=Y8oJ-Tm5ot&sig=RytZNv5B18ns_L2Fo3bnMomx2t0&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjlh5vBn5jQAhVKNSYKHbzsAEIQ6AEIIjAB#v=onepage&q=stephen%20glenn%20child%20development%20stages&f=false

 

 

The Three Stages 

Cycle One

Discovery - Age 0-4

Testing Out – Age 5-6

Concluding – Age 9-12

Cycle Two

Discovery - Age 12-14

Testing Out – Age 15-17

Concluding – 17+

 

Talk about this:

Evaluate what stage your children are in and ask yourself what work do I need to do to make this stage better?

Thanks for listening! Remember to subscribe to Between Parents and leave a review on iTunes and share this podcast with others.

You can find us @betweenparents on Instagram and on twitter @joyphenix and @billyphenix

Nov 1, 2016

When life gets full it’s easy to slip into maintenance mode and drift into isolation. But isolation is terrible for our marriage and family. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about why we avoid being in community, why it matters and how we find connection with others. 

Related(ish) Links:

The Jeep Wave – it’s a thing

 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jeep%20Wave

No one describes the shame issue better than Brene Brown. You should watch her TED talk here

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en

Or pick up her book Daring Greatly

 https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419

 “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?” 
John Wooden

Tim Ferris Podcast

http://fourhourworkweek.com/podcast/ 

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” Jim Rohn

Talk about this: In your world, who is where you want to be? What are the tensions you face that you would want to ask them about? Make a plan to connect!

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