Even when we know feedback strengthens relationships, in a marriage it’s easy to give input out of anger, at the wrong time, or to avoid the process entirely. In this episode we discuss practical steps for getting feedback from your spouse and how this process can strengthen your relationship.
Related (ish) Links and Follow up
CHICK-fil-A (emphasis matters) - But if you listen to the Oxford dictionary, maybe Joy is more right than wrong! (What do you think?)
http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/pronunciation/english/chick-fil-a
A blog post outlining much of this talk is here:
http://joyphenix.com/blog/the-awkward-date-night/
Finally, as promised, here’s a list of the sample questions we discussed on the episode:
Sample Questions:
Remember to end with a couple of positive questions.
Bonus family questions (as mentioned)
Talk About This:
This week is all about talking through the questions above. Please GO for it!
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Whether you have intentionally set aside family connection time OR you have found yourself waiting together in an unexpectedly long line (coke freestyle machines, I’m looking at you!), make the most of the time by playing together. Today’s conversation is about some of our favorite, (mostly) mobile games that give you the opportunity to laugh together.
Related (ish) Links
How many hours does the average dog sleep?
http://www.petful.com/behaviors/how-long-dogs-sleep-average/
Algorithm a la Urban Dictionary…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=algorithm&defid=8162210
Squiggly (make a picture) game
http://joyphenix.com/blog/keeping-dinner-fun/
License plate games
This post describes the license plate game along with a bunch of other road trip games.
http://joyphenix.com/blog/on-the-road-again/
Compliment game
http://joyphenix.com/blog/the-compliment-game/
Telephone on paper
http://joyphenix.com/blog/playing-telephone-on-paper/
Make up a story
http://joyphenix.com/blog/table-games/
Wikipedia challenge & Storytelling
http://joyphenix.com/blog/home-date-night/
Pee Chee folders (Did you have these growing up?)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pee_Chee_folder
Drawsomething
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draw_Something
Tensies
https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=tensies+game+rules&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Talk about this:
Tell us about your favorite games!!!
Every relationship has its tensions, but hanging with your in-laws has its own brand of intensity. While dynamics can vary wildly, a few basic principles can help any situation. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about a handful of “best practices” which are great foundations for healthy in-law relationships.
Related (ish) Links
Earl Gray is NOT English Breakfast Tea
https://blog.yourtea.com/earl-grey-vs-english-breakfast-tea/
Play the game – can you hear Mack, the yellow lab? He goes on a rolling escapade in the middle of recording ignoring all the pleas of our sound engineer (Billy).
This is a good article about the importance of trying to be empathetic
http://www.wsj.com/articles/why-you-should-have-more-empathy-1462210724
Boundaries are your friend! This is our favorite writers on this topic are Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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We don’t always realize both our kids AND our parenting are traveling through predictable stages. In fact, we go through the phases not once, but twice. In this episode Billy & Joy go through each stage so you will can recognize the challenges and realize that the "deja vu" you're experiencing is completely normal!
Related (ish) Links:
Backmasking a la Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backmasking
The famous Farrah poster… you don’t need a link do you? How about this one to switch things up?
http://www.thebarbiecollection.com/celebrity-dolls/farrah-fawcett-doll-v7161
Subliminal messages
http://www.neuro-vision.us/wordpress/subliminal-persuasion/do-subliminal-messages-work/
Growth Stage – Stephen Glenn
Glenn’s most popular book is Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-indulgent World
The book with the stages isn’t currently in print, but you can read the material on google books here:
The Three Stages
Cycle One
Discovery - Age 0-4
Testing Out – Age 5-6
Concluding – Age 9-12
Cycle Two
Discovery - Age 12-14
Testing Out – Age 15-17
Concluding – 17+
Talk about this:
Evaluate what stage your children are in and ask yourself what work do I need to do to make this stage better?
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You can find us @betweenparents on Instagram and on twitter @joyphenix and @billyphenix
When life gets full it’s easy to slip into maintenance mode and drift into isolation. But isolation is terrible for our marriage and family. In this episode Billy and Joy talk about why we avoid being in community, why it matters and how we find connection with others.
Related(ish) Links:
The Jeep Wave – it’s a thing
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jeep%20Wave
No one describes the shame issue better than Brene Brown. You should watch her TED talk here
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en
Or pick up her book Daring Greatly
https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419
“If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?”
John Wooden
Tim Ferris Podcast
http://fourhourworkweek.com/podcast/
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with” Jim Rohn
Talk about this: In your world, who is where you want to be? What are the tensions you face that you would want to ask them about? Make a plan to connect!